My rating: 3 of 5 stars This series is my version of trash reality TV. Look, I’m beyond invested at this point, but UUUUGH... 😩 My problem with these books is that the good things (the overall premise, the characters, the romance) are way too thin a veneer to cover up all the bad (crude writing, juvenile dialogue, insane pacing, and nonsensical logistics). It’s such a great concept with a depressingly poor execution. My feelings keep getting more complicated with each installment, and this has become a love-hate relationship for me. Consider everything below the spoiler tag as an attempt to sort out my convoluted thoughts regarding all three currently published books rather than a dedicated review of Onyx Storm . Inexplicable logistics continues to be my biggest beef with the Empyrean series. I know some readers can look past practical matters when it comes to fantasy and romance, but I hyperfixate and get taken out of a story when things don’t make sense or follow priorly est...

My rating: 4 of 5 stars BBC’s Big Read #25 ༻❁༺ The Hobbit was a bucket list read for me. My dad read parts aloud during my childhood, but this was my first time reading it to completion. I read my physical edition while listening along to Rob Inglis’s narration . I plan on doing the same with The Lord of the Rings . If I had only been reading the physical copy, or if I had only been listening to the audiobook, I think I would have taken forever to finish it—if I had managed to finish at all. It was a wonderful novel, but I found it incredibly difficult to get through. The only way I can think to explain it is this: In the 1987 film adaptation of The Princess Bride (another bucket list read I haven’t gotten to yet), there’s a scene where the grandson asks in disgust whether or not his grandfather is trying to trick him into listening to a “kissing book.”* While reading The Hobbit , the little girl inside me wanted to say to Tolkien, “Hold up. This is exciting and all, but where...

My rating: 4 of 5 stars BBC’s Big Read #14 ༻❁༺ “I wondered how many people there were in the world who suffered, and continued to suffer, because they could not break out from their own web of shyness and reserve, and in their blindness and folly built up a great distorted wall in front of them that hid the truth.” For some reason, Rebecca was an absolute slog for me to get through. Now that I have finished reading it after almost four months, I am still not sure what made it such a struggle because I liked the book. Objectively, I think it is brilliant. Subjectively, I suppose it must not be my thing, or I would not have taken so long to finish. I will say that I have never related so much to a narrator with whom I am ashamed to feel such a kinship. The new Mrs. de Winter’s shyness, awkwardness, and feelings of hopeless inferiority kept making me cringe with undesired relatability. At least I have never fallen in love with a complete jerk who is way too old for me. Ser...

My rating: 3 of 5 stars **EDIT** I downed my rating for the book from four to three stars after watching the 2024 film adaptation . When I received a visual representation, I couldn’t help thinking, “It isn’t that the actors are doing a bad job; it’s just that they’re not working with great original material.” Also, my utter disdain for this book’s sequel left a bad taste in my mouth regarding the characters and the entire storyline. Anyway, the original review for the four-star rating is below. ༻❁༺ Well, here I am, finally arriving however many years late to this Colleen Hoover party everyone seems to be talking about... I had mixed feelings about this and struggled to decide between three or four stars because there are a lot of things I dislike about this book. I ultimately settled on four stars because it successfully made me tear up and invoked the empathetic feelings Hoover wanted to get out of me. I appreciate when fiction addresses difficult topics, but I do not think someth...

Overall Series Rating: ✭ Art: 3.5 Stars ✭ Story: 3 Stars Series Review: Red River’s art is gorgeous and impressively consistent throughout all 28 volumes, but it has a distinctive 1980s/90s style. It is not my personal aesthetic preference, so I didn’t vibe with it, but I can objectively appreciate how well done it is. As far as the story is concerned, it is middling at best. I was almost desperate for it to be over by the time I reached the final volume. The plot is redundant and unnecessarily drawn out into cyclic, mawkish events. Even when the pasts and motivations of the main antagonists come to light, their actions throughout the series still seem nonsensical. What I do love about Red River is its setting, historical details, and characters. Each of these elements is much stronger than the plot as a whole. I believe this is the only historical fiction I have read set so far back into the past. I love the historical facts sprinkled throughout the series, and I think going so fa...

My rating: 4 of 5 stars BBC’s Big Read #70 ༻❁༺ “The theme is an attempt to trace the defects of society back to the defects of human nature. The moral is that the shape of a society must depend on the ethical nature of the individual and not on any political system however apparently logical or respectable.” – William Golding This quote and this book represent my misanthropic views on governmental systems and sociopolitical issues in general. It’s a struggle to get through because the parable aligns so acutely with my pessimistic outlook on authority. I love and hate this book in equal measure. ༻❁༺ 𝓟.𝓢. This review was crossposted from Goodreads because it contains actual thoughts rather than a typically facetious single-sentence remark. View all my book ratings and pointless takes on Goodreads or The StoryGraph .

My rating: 3 of 5 stars This was my first Kenyon reread since high school when I originally read the DH series. I struggled to decide between two or three stars but ultimately decided on three because the comedy somewhat redeemed the over-the-top cheesy smuttiness. But I struggled to unglue my eyes from the back of my skull at some moments, and it wasn’t easy to get through. I feel like this only exists as a prequel to Night Pleasures because Kenyon or her publishing team was trying to attract an initial audience to the Dark-Hunter novels from trashy romance addicts. I think there is a reason the DH series gets noticeably less smutty and more plot-driven as it progresses. This story was okay—when there actually was a story and not just endlessly redundant sexual tension, eye-rolling foreplay, and explicit lewdness. I get that enjoying books like this is dependent on being able to turn your brain off for a while, but I think I would need electroshock therapy to help make myself as co...

My rating: 2.5 of 5 stars BBC’s Big Read #94 ༻❁༺ Have you ever tried to force yourself to like a book because it’s a personal favorite of someone you respect? For me, this is that book. In high school, an admired history teacher loved this novel and recommended it to his classes. I believe he even gave us an extra credit assignment that involved reading it. I wanted to enjoy it so badly because my teenage brain foolishly equated disliking a recommendation from a valued source with outright rejection of the source itself. Alas, even this youthful fallacy wasn’t enough to manipulate me into liking The Alchemist . Reading is a subjective experience, and I only know how to describe my disinclination toward this novel in subjective terms: In my opinion, The Alchemist tries extremely hard and epically fails at what The Little Prince accomplishes effortlessly. In The Little Prince , the simplicity feels genuine and endearing; in The Alchemist , it comes across as manufactured and farc...

My rating: 3 of 5 stars Original Image Source Unknown BBC’s Big Read #39 ༻❁༺ Disjointed Thoughts From My First Time Reading Dune  : Herbert’s descriptors are super weird and try-hard sometimes. Did he think his oddly clipped, scientific, and formal writing style would somehow make his world more realistic? For me, it has the opposite effect. Plus, all the characters seem like either unbelievable caricatures or emotionless robots. I can’t suspend my disbelief enough to accept that humans were intelligent enough to raise a jihad against artificial intelligence before it conquered them all. I also can’t wrap my brain around the fact that humans who were smart enough to overcome thinking machines devolved into feudalism (even if it’s space feudalism)... Just steering as far in the other direction as they can go? ❧ Maybe humans devolved into feudalism because they thought replacing computers with inordinate drug use was a bright idea? Paul is some great prophesied mes...